.... for a blog. Actually, it was my buddy Scott's idea. He's always looking for online reviews of strip clubs that give us the pertinent information that we need to make a decision on which one to explore next. We want to know things like price, the attractiveness of the talent, the, well let's call it friendliness of that talent, and the overall quality of the experience. While I haven't been to every strip club in Vegas, I have visited a lot of them and I always have fun writing about my experiences. Usually I write simply for my own enjoyment and for the enjoyment of my friends. But I'm not creating this blog for myself or for my buddies.
No, instead I'm doing this blog for the tourists who flock to this city every weekend in search of some raunchy fun. I'm doing this blog for the local kids who are looking to meet a girl they could literally never bring home to Mom. I'm doing this blog for the single guys in places like Iowa who are coming out to Vegas for a weekend bachelor party and are looking for somewhere to blow off some steam after they have blown all their money. I'm doing this blog for the idiots who just miraculously lucked into a few hundred bucks betting on a football game and are willing to piss it all away on getting some fake breasts jammed in their face instead of putting it away for their first borns college fund. I'm doing this blog for the cheapskates who want those same boobs stuffed in their faces but don't want to spend all their winnings to get them there. And mostly I'm doing this blog in hopes that one day it could become so well known that strip club managers would offer to send a limo to my house and give me and my buddies, like Scott for example, free bottle service and lap dances in hopes that I would write a glowing review of their joint that would bring them more business. That would be awesome.
(Okay maybe I am doing this for me, after all.)
Ultimately, I would like the format of this blog to involve me telling stories and giving reviews of new strip clubs as I visit them for the first time. But first I have to review the places I've already been to. And to do this I will have to pull up blurry memories from drunken nights from month and years back. Like I said before, I haven't been to every strip club in Vegas but I have been to a lot. And for my money there's one place that stands out slightly above the crowd.
Spearmint Rhino is the biggest party spot and one could make the argument that it is the most fun overall. Sapphire is the biggest club period and probably has the most girls working on any given night. Olympic Gardens may be the best deal in town (A limo, free cover, a VIP table and TWO bottles for $350 is virtually impossible to beat,) and has a lot of hot girls working on the weekends. However, in my mind the pound-for-pound king of Vegas is Treasures. They may not have the quantity of girls that the Rhino or Sapphire boast, but the quality at Treasures is second to none. It may be more expensive than the O.G., but Treasures more than makes up for it with a much nicer facility and higher quality of girl. Treasures is my favorite strip club in Las Vegas and as such I feel it is the perfect place for me to give my first review of.
John's Review of Treasures
I've been to Treasures many times over the last few years and really never once had a negative experience. It doesn't matter what night of the week you go there - you will see a lot of hot girls. Treasures is not as big as some of the other major clubs so if you go there on a Friday or Saturday night with a decent sized group you may need to purchase bottle service in order to guarantee you have a place to sit down. A bottle of Grey Goose and three mixers will run you about $490 at Treasures. Tip included. (I don't know what other types of Vodka cost but I imagine it's somewhere in the $400 neighborhood.) The VIP tables there aren't as spacious and comfortable and private as they are at some of the other top clubs. You're really better off going there on a weeknight such as a Wednesday or a Thursday. You won't need to purchase a table to have a place to sit. It won't be too crowded unless it's a major weekend (Super Bowl weekend, New Years, etc....) and there will still be lots and lots of hot girls working the room.
Like I said before, Treasures doesn't have as many girls as some of the bigger places but I've always felt the overall quality was higher. The girls there are very hot and usually young. My buddy Scott has complained about the lack of black and Asian girls at Treasures and I can't disagree with him - It is not the most diverse strip club in the city. But the black or Asian or Latin girls they do have working there are among the hottest in Vegas. And while the girls are aggressive (Name a strip club where they aren't) they are nowhere near as pushy as the strippers at some other places.
Consider that one night while I was at Treasures, a very hot stripper named Juicy (Potentially a stage name) randomly sat down in my lap and gave me dance after dance for free because she was "Bored." It should be noted that I was blacked out drunk at the time and have no memory of this happening but my buddy Chad insists that this not only happened but that I enjoyed it very much. Only at Treasures. At O.G. that girl would have asked me for $1,000.
The less pushy girls and the smaller room at Treasures results in a more relaxed and casual atmosphere than the one you would find at a place such as Spearmint Rhino. Instead of having a girl constantly in your face (At Rhino there's so many girls working they crowd around you probably just because they are looking for a place to sit) you can actually kick back and b.s. with your buddies. When you're ready to party with a girl you like, you can wave her over or just make eye contact with her until she gets the picture and brings her pretty ass over to you. At the warehouse sized clubs like Rhino and Sapphire, the girls you get are the ones who happen to wander over to your corner of the building. At Treasures, you can generally handpick the one(s) you want.
I'm not trying to say that I don't like the bigger strip clubs. They are very fun in their own way. I'm just saying that overall I consider the Treasures experience to be the best. I will give the other clubs a more detailed review in future blogs but it remains to be seen whether any place in this city can overtake Treasures at my official pound-for-pound champ. I'm looking for a place with hot and friendly (wink wink) girls, a fun atmosphere, a nice room (Not dumpy looking or weird smelling) and a place that won't bankrupt me if I go there more than twice a year. And I just don't think any place in Vegas combines all those qualities better than Treasures.
Here are my final grades for Treasures:
Hotness of Girls: A
"Friendliness" of Girls: B-
Party Atmosphere: B+
Quality of Room: A-
Price: $$$$ out of a potential $$$$$
Overall: A. It's the best place in the city for my money and has been my favorite club for a couple years now. You better bring a few extra bucks but know that you will have a good time and for the most part the girls aren't as scandalous as they are at places like Olympic Gardens.
Speaking of the O.G. They will be my next review so be on the look out.
(Note: I am open to suggestions for a potential catchy sign off line. Very open actually. At this point I have absolutely nothing.)
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